How to Get an Abortion

The first thing you must know about abortions is that there are many methods, each with varying degrees of success and pain.

See? Completely pain free!


Abortion Methods

  1. The Falcon Punch.
  2. The "Coat hangar method." (In short: cram that fucker in there.)
  3. Fall down some stairs.
  4. Speak Ebonics with a black fellow.

The Steps

Who wouldn't want to end this life?
  1. Decide that you value convenience over human life.

If you decide this...

  1. Find underground abortion clinic.
  2. Allow creepy, drug-addicted guy to murder your baby. The crime scene shall be your womb, you heartless bitch.

If you do not...

  1. Go to church, you bible-thumping hick.

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