Latvia
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Racist
WARNING! |
Contents
Joke:
Three men are in ship. One Latvian, one Russian, one Lithuanian. Lithuanian take out one bottle wodka. Russian kill Lithuanian, then drink wodka. Then Latvian wait until Russian drink self to sleep, then kill. Is end.
Joke:
Latvian: Is so cold. All: How cold is? Latvian: Very. Also dark.
Joke:
A fishmonger says to a bootblack, "Are there any more potato left?" Bootblack says, "Yes, one. But it has gone bad." The fishmonger says, "I am very hungry. I have not eaten for three days. I shall eat it, even if it makes me very ill." And bootblack says, "I did not speak truth. In reality, there is no food left. You shall go hungry yet another day, my friend."
Joke:
Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have sent Siberia! “More bread for me,” man think. But bread have worm.
Joke:
Janis: I hope my son does not die during night.
Guntis: What is "hope"?
Janis: Yes. I know what you say.
Guntis: No. I am serious. What is hope?
Janis: In truth, I do not know.
Joke:
Questioning: Why did chicken cross road?
Answering: I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers rape her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.
Joke:
Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.
Joke:
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Latvian.
Latvian who?
Please open door. Is cold.
Joke:
Latvian walk into bar with poodle under one arm and salami under other. Eat salami first.
Joke:
Three Latvian are brag about sons. “My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian. “Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!” Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.” “Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.
Joke:
Boy: But mother, I no are like grandma.
Mother: Eat anyway. Is no potato.
Joke:
Latvian walk into bar and say, “I have not eaten for many days. One full beer will be too much for me. How much just maybe one shot beer?” Bartender say, “This is can do for you. Is two centimes.” Latvian say, “Oh. I was hoping it would be less. I do not have that much.”
Joke:
What are one potato say other potato?
Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
Joke:
How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb?
25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
OR
How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb?
Only one. Obtain light bulb is hard part. You have potato?
Joke:
Three Latvian girl are walk down street. One have knife, one have gun, one have window. They are meet soldier. Soldier is ask first girl, “Why you are have knife?” “If you try rape me, I stab!” she say. Okay! Second girl, “Why you are have gun?” “If you try rape me, I shoot!” she say. Okay! Third girl, “Why you are have window?!?” “If you try rape me, I jump out!”
Joke:
Latvian is capture by cannibals. Cannibals say, “We are kill you and eat you and use skin for canoe. But you may choose means of your death.” Latvian say, “Okay! You are give me fork, please!” But oops! Is forgot how use!
Joke:
How is get one-arm Latvian out of tree?
Is no one-arm Latvian! Why you silly? All go Center for Great Peaceful Physical Reassignment. You no ask.
Joke:
Why six is afraid seven? Because seven have many friend politburo.
Joke:
Latvian walk into bar with pig on shoulder. Bartender say, “That look delicious!” But pig say, “No. Is Latvian. Taste is similar to dog.”
Joke:
Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, “Why so long face?” Latvian say, “I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby. “
Joke:
What get when cross potato with Latvian?
No, please, is cruel and inhumane!
Joke:
Is dead dog in road. Is dead Latvian in road. What difference?
Dog have fur keep warm. Also, freedom. And dog try eat poop for pleasure not just survive. So many thing!
Joke:
Latvian is rub lamp find genii. Genii say, “What is three wishes?” Latvian say, “I wish potato!” Then, POOF! Potato! Latvian so happy! “Oh! Is potato! Is potato!” say Latvian. Genii ask, “What is next wish?” Latvian is say, “I wish you go away so can enjoy potato!” POOF! Too bad. Also, was only lamp.
Joke:
Little boy Janis Dipers is get trouble, school. After teacher is beat, make also stay detention all alone. While detention, teacher is get horny! Teacher and Janis is make sex. “Janis Dipers!” teacher shout! “But teacher,” Janis say, “I too hungry for energy do that.”
Joke:
Is Latvian couple have been marry 60 years! But for long times, is no making sex. For 60th wedding anniversary, wife is buy for husband hooker for the have sex! Hooker is arrive at door one fine day and is say to husband, “Hello! I here give you super sex!” Man is say, “Oh! I will have the soup.” Then hooker is say, “What? You have soup? Why you no told this?”
Joke:
potato farmer run out of wodka. He plant wodka. he is disappoint. He to be sellings daughter for wodka. Soldier take daughter to be makings rape. Farmer gets no wodka.
Joke:
A Latvian and a negro sit in a couchette car. Latvian takes out potato and starts eating it. Negro looks at him. Latvian askes: "What, want potato?". Negro shakes head, like, yes, i do. "Ah, that's absolutely usual potato. Write to your parents and they will send you it too."
Joke:
Latvian try to cross river. Has dog, potatoes, and dead son's body. Can be only takings two across river at one time. If he leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad. Also is not good boat.
But is too easy! Latvian very smart! Plantings potato with body for to be fertilizing. Eat dog.
Joke:
Latvia man want to go to America for work. But man smell too bad, he not go on plane. Latvia man stay in Latvia. Man kill himself. Is better than stay.
Joke:
Latvia man fall out of bed one morning, very angry go to wife and beat her with hand. cry at night for not getting her potato
