This page is about mittens.
The VIPPER's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of mittens. Mittens, it says, are about the most massively useful thing a VIPPER can have. Partly they have great practical value -- you can wear them for warmth during winter, use them to protect your hands from heat or sharp things, entertain children by transforming them into Hand Puppets, use them as your personal Haruhi, warm up your hands with the USB variety, get things out of your oven with them, be stylish wearing them, and of course do just about anything you can do with gloves with them.
More importantly, mittens have immense psychological value. For some reason, if a DQN (DQN: non-VIPPER) discovers that a VIPPER has his mittens with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of Haruhi Mittens, a laptop, kopipe, kimchee, apology juice, a novelty tripcode, etc., etc. Furthermore, the DQN-kun will then happily lend the VIPPER any of these or a dozen other items that the VIPPER might accidentally have 'lost'. What DQN-kun will think is that any man who can VIP the length and breadth of the Elitist Superstructure, read it, save it, struggle against terrible posts, win through, and still know where his mittens are is clearly a VIPPER to be reckoned with.
Hence a phrase which has passed into VIPPER slang, as in 'ミトンが好き！'? (ミトン: mitten; が: subject marker; 好き: like.)
MITTENS SHOULD NOT BE RELEASED IN NON-EMERGENCY SITUATIONS, OR RATIONING WITH DRYER LINT MAY BE NECESSARY.
／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣ | MITTENS are better than sex ! ＼＿＿ ＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿ | / ／ | / | But sex with MITTENS is awesome ! |/ ＼＿＿＿＿＿_ ＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿ ∧＿∧∩ ∧＿∧ )／ （ ﾟ ヮﾟ）/ （ﾟ ヮﾟ ） ´ ＿ / / / ＿と と ヽ ＼⊂ノ￣￣￣￣＼ ＼ ￣￣￣￣￣＼ ||＼ ＼ .||＼. ＼ ||＼||￣￣￣￣￣|| ||＼||￣￣￣￣￣|| || ||￣￣￣￣￣|| || ||￣￣￣￣￣|| .|| || .|| ||