DQN Short Novel (Part 20)

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A nice short chapter about a time travelling phallus.

It contains 21 posts, 341 words and 2032 characters.

Chapter -7 + 24i: Nope[edit]

On the morning of the 6900th of September 1993, a young panda by the name of Eddie Murphy awoke to find that his clothes were all gone, his car stolen (he had his car keys), and a big black penis was drawn on his head in marker. Most troublingly of all, his own penis was gone. What mysteries have befallen Eddie Murphy this time?

Meanwhile, in the distant future in the year 1994, Eddie Murphy's penis, time traveler extraordinaire, was attending a meeting of the Intertemporal Association of Time Travelers, of which it was the current President. Eddie Murphy's penis was named Jock Johnson and its favorite thing to do while not traveling through time was ejaculating. Which, honestly, is pretty cool.

He called the meeting to order.

"Gentlemen!" he began, "The time has come for everything! We're fucking time travelers, ain't we?" After a rousing cheer from the audience, he continued: "Now, let's all go back in time and kill one another, making sure to leave corpses in every single historical location ever featured in a textbook!" Jock still hadn't quite gotten over that grudge against his seventh-grade history teacher.

The other time travellers were a little uncomfortable with the prospect of mass suicide, so, not wanting to hurt Jock's feelings, they applauded politely and briefly before quickly turning their attentions to the snack bar.

Little did they know that Jock had laced the entire buffet with PCP. Incidentally, he had also laced it with sperm. Hallucination-inducing sperm. With that in mind (thought not in the minds of those unfortunate patrons), everyone began to imagine they were the cast of Legend of the Galactic Heroes.

This fanciful delusion was soon dispelled by the miraculous arrival of a naked Mr Gray, who was mysteriously teleported into the exact geometric center of the room. He gave a yelp when gravity had resumed its grip and he hit the floor, stopped sucking his own dick and looked around with bleary, confused eyes.

"... think 'm bleeding,", he mumbled sheepishly. "Anyone got a band-aid?"