DQN Short Novel (Part 17)
This chapter is mostly about toast and parallel universes.
It contains 25 posts, 570 words and 3259 characters.
Chapter 104: Return of the Great Sky Loli and Tharsh's Insatiable Appetite for Toast
There was an atmosphere of apprehension due to >>132-134 breaking the fourth wall, however it was quickly dispelled by the mewings of the two kittens, who were now playing with a bunch of cotton balls they had found nearby.
A single slice of toast was selotaped to the back of one of the cats. The other promptly ate the toast. The toast was toasterific. The toast was toasted. The toast had once been bread. The toast had wandered. The toast was toasty.
The toast had crept through halls of unforgiven blacksmiths. They wore blindfolds and hammered sharks with their heads. The toast had held its breath as it lopped daintily between the smiths, taking care not to touch the hammer-headed hammerheads being hammer headed.
The toast had toasted into a monochromatic bird-fish forest. It heard digital cries which foretold of too much toasty tea with too little time. Tea growing cold and mold and untold and rolled and folding on itself, just as this narrative folds, just as the satin bedsheets had folded when Mr. Gray's mysterious lover had sat up in bed years earlier, rubbing her innocent eyes sleepily, unaware of the posterior-related hardships about to befall her.
And now, the toast-bearing cat unexpectedly came to the conclusion that it was actually not a cat at all; it was the Great Sky Loli, and - predictably enough - its companion was in fact Tharsh. Upon realising their true identities, the two of them exchanged saliva samples for the purposes of DNA testing, just to prove that they really were who they thought they were.
The DNA test revealed that Tharsh was exactly who he was supposed to be - himself. As for the Great Sky Loli, she was also exactly who she was supposed to be, disappointing those who wished for some sort of a dramatic plot twist or something.
Perceived existential peculiarities aside, the two were ready to begin their holy quest: to replenish the tea/the stock of Mountain Dew before their discount coupons ran out.
Presented with a multiverse, the reader may now decide which universe they wish for the story to follow. Please enter your choice into the holographic input device below:
> "Universe where all technology is made by Apple, and Mountain Dew is good for you and is on tap in every home"
Error 404000000: Universe not found. Please hang up and try again.
The great sky loli sighed. "Let's go to Gensokyo, then, maybe."
A young bird named Tokiko woke up one morning and was promptly crushed to death under the massive - yet feathery soft - posterior of a giant loli teleporting in from an alternate universe.
"Huzzah!" exclaimed the GSL upon arriving. "Now it all returns to nothing". Casting his arms wide as if to embrace universal nullity, GSL began the great wondering of why she was male for a moment there. As it turns out, she was splitting in two; one half would remain as the Great Sky Loli while the other would be sent to an alternate universe to be the Great Sky Shota. This alternate universe would then be ignored for the rest of the story, or at least until Andyland had finally been finished by an awful ravaging war in the dimension where the story (to this point) has taken place. Fortunately, Andyland was destroyed moments later, thus the alternate universe no longer needed to be ignored.