DQN Short Novel (Part 39)

From Tanasinn.info
Jump to: navigation, search

Undoubtedly the most difficult to follow chapter of the novel so far. You, uh, might want to skip this one.

This chapter/these chapters contain 15 posts, 497 words and 2775 characters.

Chapter: A Rude Rebeginninging[edit]

The scrolls and Goscone


Hi everyone. I'm Donald Scopield, the new author of the short novel. I want to tell you now I don't know much about pigs and druids and little girls. What I do know about, however, are the Mongol Invasions of the 13th and 14th century. I'll write what I know and hope you guys like it

Chapter 1: Conquest of Western China[edit]

Genghis Khan genghis was gearing up for the conquest of China. He wanted all of the Chinese


suddenly became aware that from this point on, all odd numbered and even numbered posts would constitute separate narratives, until the two storylines converged somehow.

He began to weep profusely.

Penelope tried to console him, stroking his back and telling him


Goscone had no way to get back down from the skull shaped platform. Pterodactyl druid McPterodactyl would never help him after what he did. He called Smoopy for advice.

"Don't worry, I got this. Just wait till I get there." said Smoopy.

Goscone impatiently waited.


to make pork dumplings for his army, but they were runnin short on Pork. He called his right hand woman,


Koki Marfan. A Syrian basketweaver.


and told her "Koki, I want you to go find me a razorback hog. Undead, preferably."


This is for whom Goscone was waiting. But he didn't know it yet.


"Your will be done, my liege," Koki responded. She went to the armory tor retrieve her finest basketry equipment.


"Ok, jump down on me!" Yelled Smoopy up to Goscone.

Goscone was heading down at a rate of 9.8 meters per second per second down to Smoopy. He landed with a pffchhrrt on Smoopy.

"A safe landing!" the both said at the exact same time.

Suddenly the clip clopping of several horses could be heard. The sound was coming from a cloud of dust in the distance. It was getting closer.


And then it got farther away, and disappeared over the horizon.


"Now hold on jes' a minute there! What the dag gone heck er you s'posed ta be?" said


Koki was somewhat peeved about the sudden fleeing of the armory, so she rounded up some horsemen to chase after it with her.


Then the universe exploded, setting off a chain reaction which caused all nearby parallel universes to explode, cascading outwards in an unholy expanding fiery ball of death.

The only universe which was not destroyed was one in which


everyone was a western style smiley face.

"I am happy!" said :)

"Honk! Honk!" said :0)

"I'm sad!" said :(


The author then realized that he had made a sudden departure from the alternating odd-even posts converging storylines system. He checked himself into the same mental hospital as the previous author, leaving the publishers to once again comisserate over who the new author should be.

The authoer who just left was later found dead in a broom closet at the hospital. He wasn't very well-liked at this hospital, or anywhere in fact, so everyone just assumed the murder was justified.