Kopipe:Anime

****

What the fuck, they are seriously fucked up. Good thing that I'm fucking watching ****** and I'm ******ing Gundam W or I'd be preety fucking pissed right ***, those motherfuckers. They think **** can fucking *** me to fuckIng ******** that pitagora ****** crap just to give me ***ing Naruto? No, fuck you ******. I'm not fucking ********ing that shit Just do your fucking **** and release the fucking *******. I mean, nobody ********* that fucking **** cause it has no fucking ********. There are no fucking **** for that fucking **** and these ***ers think they will make me ******** that stupid shit? ***** is no fucking hell in a fucking **** motherfucking moon, you fucking cock ****ing prick ****. Fuck this fucking shit, I'm getting ****** a fucking *** fucking episode even if I won't understand **** shit, better than ******* one fucking **** for the stupid episode. Dun ****** that I don't speak a **** of fucking Japanese. I will watch the stupid ******* and fucking ******** it again when it is fucking ******. Are you happy? Fuck you DB I'm ***** to ***** a nasty ****** in your ********. You know what? I don't **** a fucking shit you noobs if you fucking *** me. I'll just *** the damn episode from another ******* website. This is so fucking *******ing it really pisses me off. Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn ***** our dattabayo for that nasty ****er in your feedback noobs.

4chan level otaku

I'm a 4chan level otaku. I don't talk with you chumps in anime club, I don't read your "anime magazine" with new releases I saw two years ago. I don't need to go to a club full of fat smelly people to watch Full Metal Alchemist all over again. I've got fuckin' live feed torrents of the newest animes you haven't even hear of, and figures from said anime being shipped to my house so I can masturbate on them. Go read your "yowie" on fanfiction.net, I'm downloading loli dojinshi and reading the fucking raws.
You keep wearing your naruto headbands and shit, socializing with your weeaboo friends. I'll be walking by, Anonymous. You'll never know that the master of anime had passed you by, because I suppress my power level.

2channel level otaku

You're a 4chan level otaku, you say? Hrmph. I am a 2channel level otaku, and you are as far beneath me as narutards are beneath you. Think you're pretty hot with your torrents? My satellite dish is pulling down the latest shows while they air from motherfucking SPACE. By the time you even see the OP I've already fapped and smoked a cigarette. And the latest moeblob you fell in love with this season? Three years ago I played the game the show's based, got the secret harem ending, and came on her face. And her friends' faces. All at the same time. Twice. You keep waiting for your precious torrents. I'll be standing in line at Comiket, getting the real deal from the artist himself.

gaia level otaku ^_^

I'm a Gaia level otaku ^_^. I don't have to watch my anime from the TV. I buy the newest DVDs the day they are released and go to my sugoi anime club to watch it with my cool friends. The hot new series that begins to air next month? I knew about it a month ago from my secret source and already talked with the guys about how kawaii the lead girl will be. Go read the first volume of Inuyasha, I already know all the places in the internet where I can read hot fanfics of my fav bishies.

You keep thinking anime characters speak English and shit, I'll be wearing my Naruto headband and learning to speak Japanese so I can move to Japan when I graduate from high school. ^_^

mangaka level otaku

You're a 2ch level otaku, you say? Hrmph. I am a mangaka level otaku, and you are as far beneath me as 4chan level otaku are beneath you. Think you're pretty hot with your bookstores? My pen is dishing out the latest stories while I think them up with my BRAIN. By the time you even crack the binding I've already signed a contract for the next one. And that h-game you played three years ago? I made my wife dress up as the lead and had sex with her for inspiration when I co-wrote it. I still have the manuscript for the bondage scene you'll never see. You keep waiting for your precious bookdealers. I'll be sitting in my studio apartment, making the real deal with my own hands.

corporate bureaucrat level otaku

You're a mangaka level otaku, you say? Hrmph, I am a corporate bureaucrat, and you're as far beneath me as 2channel level otaku are beneath you. Think you're pretty hot with your new volume? I'm the one who makes it popular with my propaganda and viral marketing. By the time you even pick up that pen I've already contracted a better author. And that h-game you made last year after dressing up your lovedoll for inspiration? I was fucking a girl more beautiful than you could ever even hope to talk to. I still have the new serialization contracts you'll never see. You keep writing your silly books. I'll be sitting in my mansion, counting up all the money you've made me.

politician level otaku

You're a corporate bureaucrat level otaku, you say? Hrmph, I am a politician, and you're as far beneath me as mangaka level otaku are beneath you. Think you're pretty hot with your viral marketing? I'm the one who makes it possible with my pork barrel spending and hedge funds. By the time you even call an author I've already secured subsidies for "the arts". And that girl you were fucking? I was fucking over more voters than you could ever even hope to talk to. I still have the new anti-abortion bill you'll never see. You keep counting your silly money. I'll be sitting in my office, assfucking my secretary.

patriot level otaku

You're a politician level otaku, you say? Hrmph, I am a Patriot, and you're as far beneath me as corporate bureaucrat level otaku are beneath you. Think you're pretty hot with your immense budgets and life-altering decisions? I'm the one who supplies you with that money and tells you to make those decisions. By the time you even pass a bill, I've already set up your assassination and determined your successor. And those voters you brag about fucking? I own all their lives down to the menial details, including their fucking a politician. I still have the the metal gears and the philosopher's legacy you will never see. You keep making your choices and running your sham of a nation. I'll be sitting at my desk, creating nonsensical plot twists from the shadows.

snake level otaku

You're a Patriot level otaku, you say? Hrmph, I am Snake, and you're as far beneath me as politician level otaku are beneath you. Think you're pretty hot with your la-li-lu-le-lo? I'm the one foils your evil plans with precision and manliness. By the time you even build a metal gear, I've already destroyed it AND the bad guys with nonsensical yet surprisingly awesome special powers protecting it. And that country you always brag about running from the shadows? I'm making it a better place by wiping the likes of you off the face of the earth. You just keep your little philosophers legacy. I'll be on this plane, ready to stop you at a moments notice.

colonel level otaku

You're a Snake level otaku, you say? Hrmph, I am the Colonel, and you're as far beneath me as Patriot level otaku are beneath you. Think you're pretty hot with your precision and manliness? I'm the one who gives you the orders in the first place. By the time you even find the base's entrance, I've already had my team of spies locate everything inside it. And that country you always think you're protecting? I've got enough secret agendas and classified information to make your head explode. You just keep destroying your silly metal gears. I'll be inside this Arsenal Gear, mailing your fissions with I NEED SCISSORS! 61!

Anime is not for nerds

For nerds? Well excuse me... Some people grew up with it and is part of there culture aka asians. Also its a good thing to do when ur bored. + your list of anime is prob less thn 0.001% of whats actually on the market. Not all anime are or children and nerds there are large varietys targeted at different groups.

Also teen titans is not really anime tho drawn in a very similar/same style as anime. There are certain rules it does not follow making it a cross breed

And yes i am awfully offended at your steriotyping.

Thankyou. P.s. and no animes not just about hentai... Add more variety to your gallery...

Omg hai

Omg hai ^___^ I’m Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is naurto!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband sasuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw…SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!! “ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!! he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY MAN WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH NARUTO CAUSE SASUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (ò_ó)” then sasuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Asa

I'M GONNA DIE IF I DON'T USE MAGIC, AND EVERYONE WANTS ME TO USE MAGIC SO I DON'T DIE, BUT I WON'T USE MAGIC BECAUSE I'M HUMAN, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT HUMAN, AND EVERYONE KNOWS I'M NOT HUMAN, BUT I WANT TO BELIEVE THAT I'M HUMAN, SO THAT I CAN BE HUMAN AROUND EVERYONE, EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T CARE THAT I'M NOT HUMAN, SO I'LL JUST DIE LIKE A FUCKING RETARD RIGHT HERE OK?

OMG, MY BOYFRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF SO I SAVE HIM BY USING MAGIC, EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T WANT TO USE MAGIC, BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE HUMAN, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT HUMAN, AND HE KNOWS THAT I'M NOT HUMAN, AND HE DOESN'T CARE THAT I'M NOT HUMAN, SO THEREFORE HE KILLS HIMSELF TO MAKE ME NOT HUMAN EVEN WHEN I BELIEVE THAT I AM HUMAN, AND I DON'T WANT TO BE NOT HUMAN, AND SO THAT I CAN JUST DIE LIKE A RETARD, JUST LIKE HE JUST DID BUT HE'S OK BECAUSE I'M NOT HUMAN, AND HE STILL LOVES ME SO I'LL JUST GO SUCK HIM OFF NOW AFTER MY MUCH-HOTTER-THAN-ME MOM GIVES ME A HAIR CUT WHICH MAKES ME LESS ATTRACTIVE

Bartender

Bartender actually DID drive me to drink. On a recent expedetion I made to a nearby town, my friends and I landed in a hotel with a bar that actually didn't have anyone manning it. There was an attendant at the front desk but he was really cool and read a book while we scrwed off near the bar.

There was a bucket full of ice, with three wines situated in it; merlot, pinot noir, and a chardonnay. I sipped the chardonnay first-it was my first experience with alcohol-and boy did I have a rush! I'm familiar with the smell of alcohol since I use isopropyl so much in my cleaning, but to actually drink simmilar stuff without fear of dying was quite an experience.

The wine itself tasted bitter and I couldn't finish my glass; I tried the merlot next but I actually spat it out onto my friend's jacket in surprise; it was at room temperature. Following this, I went to the bar and noticed on tap there was a handle that said "Budweiser" and "Budweiser Lite"; I took a glass from the nearby shelves and tapped a glass.

Beer has a very musky taste in comparison to wine; the sweet juices that get converted into alcohol are grains for beer, and the "scent" of yeast can still be detected in the drink. I myself found it strange; the sensation was sort of like drinking bread water, which reminded me strongly of the connection Sasakura Ryuu once had with his former life as Kazuma Azuma; with beer, Ryuu is not just mixing a drink to soothe the sorry soul, he is also molding bread. Old habits die hard, I suppose.

I moved away from the beer and tried the last drink I had not tasted; the pinot noir. The flavour! It reminded me of freshy squeezed grapes from the vines growing on my neighbors tree that I used to drink juice from in my younger days, only with a mature taste worthy of the gods.

In that moment, I truely realized that although there was no person at the bar to make it tender, kindness was still born.

I wouldn't have given up that experience for the world.

Best Anime Ever

The best anime ever, without any doubt, is Neon Genesis Evangelion. Not only is the plot amazing, it delivers important themes about society and has a lot of symbols about religion. Pisses me off that people don't understand how beautiful this anime is and I just want to punch them in the face.

Dancing Anime

Yes I'm talking that anime The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. It fucking sucks. Now it's pretty popular among the anime circles, and yet this poor excuse for an animated feature is the worst thing ever produced by a human being if you except Plan 9 from Outer Space, and I'm being generous.

First you gotta admit you hated the first episode. It made no sense, sucked as shit, wasn't funny, edgy or new. Or original. Animation sucked dead dogs' balls. Characters sucked dead dogs' balls. Voice actiong sucked dead dogs' balls. But you managed to make it through the whole pile of steaming poo just to see the ED. BEcause that's what this anime is about. It's about the ED. Those 1 minute and a half. There's nothing else to it. You went like "OMG ANIMATION LIEK" you freaking retards and now everyone likes it. Yet it's shit. It's complete shit with no redeeming qualities. There's fucking nothing to it. Just the dance at the end. It's a dancing anime. A fucking retarded danxcing anime with no story and nothing and no characters it sucks. You shouldn't like it you morons seriously. Just download the ED and loop it on your WMP you cockass faggot asses. DAMN I wish all those threads about HARUHI OMG YEAH would go one and everyone in them die FUCK YOU for polluting my forums HARUHI FUCK YOU.

AND NO IT 'S NOT A COPY PASTA I'VE JUST TYPED THIS WHOLE THING.

FUCK YOU

desu

"Does master want Suiseiseki to give him a footrub-desu?" she purred.
"No thank you," I said. "I'm rather tired. You should retire to your box."
"But master-sama, Suiseiseki doesn't like her box-desu! I want to sleep in master-sama's bed-desu!"
"Not tonight. You'll do as you're told."
"Why doesn't master-sama have real girls in his bed?"
"What?!"
"Is master-sama's penis too small for real girls?"
"Why aren't you saying desu?"
"Does he have to use dolls instead?"
"SAY DESU! SUISEISEKI FINISHES HER SENTENCES WITH DESU!"
"Master-sama showed Suiseiseki his penis once."
"DESU! MASTER-SAMA SHOWED SUISEISEKI HIS PENIS ONCE DESU!"
"It was too small even for dolls."
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT SUISEISEKI!"

With my right hand I snatched a pair of scissors from my desk and mashed them continually into her face. Her little body was smashed into kindling but I did not stop. Until her screams began to sound a bit like my voice, and I remembered that dolls did not scream, and they did not bleed. Suddenly there was feeling in my left hand for the first time in weeks. I lifted it out of the doll's wreckage, covered in splinters and dripping from scissored wounds. How long had my hand been inside there? How long had I been inside here, alone in my one-room apartment, talking to myself, going mad?

The bolt scraped rust from the latch as I stepped outside. My eyes hurt, god the horizon ... it was a deal larger than 19 inches diagonally. But after five steps my breath quickened and my chest tightened and I turned back. Enough for today. Tomorrow I would try for six. A distant memory told me that when I reached two hundred and eighty, I would make it to the bus stop. And then I'd be free of this apartment, of this prison. And then there'd be nowhere in the world I couldn't go.

Least of all the refunds counter at Moemart in Akihabara. For fuck's sake. Suiseiseki finishes her sentences with desu.

Doing Louise

I would only utilize my penis as a psuedo tea cosy, bare with me if you will, the mental thought sounds somewhat disgusting but bare with me fellow anonymice.
Indeed, I would J-J-Jam it in! But I wouldn't be able to bring myself to move my hips at all, no, I would only tease Louise slightly, stroking her cheeks untill her already redend cheeks begin to glow with embarssement and joy. With my other hand I'm already reaching down her tiny, slender frame, reaching her twitching Vagoo and gently rubbing away untill she whimpers underneath me.

Then as Saito turns round the corner I acknoweldge the better man.
I have kept the wench warm for you, sire.
I will say, acknoweldging my duties were only to keep Louise real for a real man, a man with a slap that would rival Bright Noa (RIP old friend, RIP). I would watch, pOnOs aching to be with them, screaming out words of encouragement attempting to meld mine into their own.

If I were lucky, Saito would lift her thighs up giving me a full show, and knowing Saito's new found GARness, he would offer to me her rear access port to dock in, as a thank you for reving up the Jail Bait's engines for him.

Saito is a real man! *Tear of joy*

End of Evangelion

>>493771 the end of eva sucked so much i mwan they set up a badass show down sinje (i know that his name is misspelled) power dubled from the loss of misote and ascoka Vs 9 or so M.P.E. hat come back after you kill them but no they star the 3rd inpact ever bady dies and then senjie and askuke came back and the little dicj head tres to kill the hatest gril in the show what the fuck man

fateth stayeth nighteth

"Art thou my master?"
"Dayummm girl, ain't seen many like you round Compton. That's some nice hair and shit, that a weave?"
"Zounds, thou art a Nubian! How came you from the dark continent?"
"Say what? Look atchoo, talkin' all like Shakeanbake and shit. That's coo', that's coo'. I hear that."
"This land be twixt foul and fair, who buildeth towers to peak through the blanket of clouds, yet the streets below Nubians unyolk'd runneth over."
"Aiiight, aiiight, I can tell you ain't from round here. You want me to show you round or somfin'? Me an my boys –"
"I'll away to find my master, only heeding his say shalt mine confusion repurpose."
"Aiyo, you leavin' already? Come on baby, come here ..."
"Hold! Hold! Fly from here, your bound's o'erstepped. Your eyes shall see not my keen blade afore it calls you to account."
"What is that, a sword? Aw come on baby, put it down fore you hurt choself ..."
"Fie! Away!"
"I ain't gon' do nothing you don't want me to ... let's get all this armor offa you, shorty."
"I bid you stay thine huge lips ..."
"Don't choo like this? I think you like this ..."
"Forsooth ..."
"Aww yeahhh ..."
"HARK! What pain through yonder hymen breaks?"
"Damn, you tight as hay-ell, bitch! This some tight-ass pussy!"
"OUT, DAMNED COCK; OUT, I SAY!"
"Uh! Yeah! Yeah! Ugh!"
"O, thine lance be long ..."
"Uh! Uh! Uh!
"O Nubian! Nubian!"
"YOU LIKE THIS? YOU LIKE THIS? GRAGGHHHH"
"PUMP ME FULL O' THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS"
"DAYYYYYYYYYUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMM"

exeunt

FUCK YOU, NARU

YOU KNOW WHAT NARU? FUCK YOU! YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, YOU GOD DAMNED WHORE, I SAID IT! IT'S CUNTS LIKE YOU WHO MAKE GUYS LIKE KEITARO THE WAY HE IS, A COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKING PUSSY! I CAN'T STAND ANIME GIRLS LIKE YOU! A GUY COMES UP AND SHOWS INTEREST IN YOU AND YOU JUST BRUSH HIM OFF BECAUSE YOU THINK HE'S BEING PERVERTED AND THEN WHEN HE GOES OFF TO START A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND YOU GET ALL OFFENDED AND DEFENSIVE THINKING "WHY IS HE TALKING TO HER?" AND THEN YOU AIM THAT JEALOUSY MORE AT KEITARO AND YOU CONFUSE HIM EVEN MORE! GODDAMN YOU NARU, AND IF THAT DOESN'T MAKE THINGS WORSE KEITARO HAS GENUINE ACCIDENTS THAT END UP IN HILARIOUS SITUATIONS AND YOU FUCKING BUTT IN AND PUNCH HIM OR GIVE HIM SOME UNDUE SHIT. I KNOW YOU MARRIED HIM AT THE END OF THE SERIES BUT I HOPE KEITARO WAKES UP ONE DAY FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT AND LEAVES YOUR BITCH ASS HAVING TO TURN TRICKS TO PAY OFF STUDENT LOANS AT TOKYO U WHILE HE’S RUN OFF HAVING A THREESOME WITH MUTSUMI AND KANAKO, AND HELL I BET ADULT KAOLLA AND FUCKING SHINOBU WILL BE THERE SINCE YOU KEPT FUCKING UP THEIR CHANCES WITH KEITARO. HAVE FUN GIVING HAND JOBS BEHIND THE JAPANESE 7-11 DURING THE DAY AND CRYING YOURSELF TO SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING THAT THE ONE TRUE MAN YOU EVER LOVED, OR FOR THAT MATTER EVER TRULY LOVED YOU NO MATTER HOW SHORT A TIME IT WAS, IS GONE AND YOU WILL DIE ALONE! AND WHEN DEATH COMES BREATHING DOWN YOUR FUCKING NECK, YOU CUM GUZZLING DUMPSTER WHORE, I HOPE THE GRIM REAPER TAKES YOU SCREAMING AND PLEADING TO THE VERY DARKEST BLACKEST DEPTHS OF THE HELL YOU CREATED FOR YOURSELF AND YOU SAMPLE THE TORMENT YOU PUT KEITARO THROUGH FOR ALL ETERNITY!

FUCK YOU, OROCHIMARU

YOU KNOW WHAT OROCHIMARU? FUCK YOU! YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, YOU GOD DAMNED WHORE, I SAID IT! IT'S SLUTS LIKE YOU WHO MAKE GUYS LIKE SASUKE THE WAY HE IS, A COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKING PUSSY! I CAN'T STAND ANIME GUYS LIKE YOU! A GUY COMES UP AND SHOWS INTEREST IN YOU AND YOU JUST BRUSH HIM OFF BECAUSE YOU THINK HE'S BEING PERVERTED AND THEN WHEN HE GOES OFF TO START A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND YOU GET ALL OFFENDED AND DEFENSIVE THINKING "WHY IS HE TALKING TO HIM?" AND THEN YOU AIM THAT JEALOUSY MORE AT NARUTO AND YOU CONFUSE HIM EVEN MORE! GODDAMN YOU OROCHIMARU, AND IF THAT DOESN'T MAKE THINGS WORSE SASUKE HAS GENUINE ACCIDENTS THAT END UP IN HILARIOUS SITUATIONS AND YOU FUCKING BUTT IN AND PUNCH HIM OR GIVE HIM SOME UNDUE SHIT. I KNOW YOU TURNED HIM AGAINST EVERYONE AT THE END OF THE SERIES BUT I HOPE SASUKE WAKES UP ONE DAY FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR BULLSIT AND LEAVES YOUR WHORE ASS HAVING TO TURN TRICKS TO PAY OFF ITACHI AT THE OTHER HIDDEN VILLAGES WHILE HE’S RUN OFF HAVING A THREESOME WITH SAKURA AND INO, AND HELL I BET ADULT HINATA AND FUCKING KIBA WILL BE THERE SINCE YOU KEPT FUCKING UP THEIR CHANCES WITH TEMARI. HAVE FUN GIVING HAND JOBS BEHIND THE VILLAGE OF THE HIDDEN LEAVES DURING THE DAY AND CRYING YOURSELF TO SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING THAT THE ONE TRUE MAN YOU EVER LOVED, OR FOR THAT MATTER EVER TRULY LOVED YOU NO MATTER HOW SHORT A TIME IT WAS, IS GONE AND YOU WILL DIE ALONE! AND WHEN DEATH COMES BREATHING DOWN YOUR FUCKING NECK, YOU DUMPSTER WHORE, I HOPE THE GRIM REAPER TAKES YOU SCREAMING AND PLEADING TO THE VERY DARKEST BLACKEST DEPTHS OF THE HELL YOU CREATED FOR YOURSELF AND YOU SAMPLE THE TORMENT YOU PUT SASUKE THROUGH FOR ALL ETERNITY!

Gundam Wing

I think the really amazing thing about Gundam Wing is its philosophical overtones. I've talked for hours with my friends about what Heero and Treize's conversation on the meaning of war (episodes 36-38) really MEANS about WAR, and we've gotten to thinking that maybe, just maybe, it's not about war at all.

Gundam Wing makes us think on such high levels that sometimes I orgasm spontaneously when discussing it. It's miles from that ridiculous Tomino super robot trash, it makes Ideon look like a goddamned Playmobil fire engine. Fucking Ide Gauge. The Zero System is about life, man. That's as real as it gets. It's about your MIND and your SOUL.

I wish I had pretty, long hair like Zechs-chan. That Charles is such a pale imitation.

Haruhi f'tagn

Many of these seemingly innocent comedy animu have absolutely horrifying "why don't they all just kill themselves" nightmare scenarios as their basic setups (like Rozen Maiden and its super-powered parasite dolls that are free to abuse their helpless "owners" any which way they want), but Haruhi takes the cake. Just think about it - the characters and the reality they live in are permanently subject to the brain-damaged, ADD-ridden whims of the female equivalent of Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes. Even death won't save them.

Haruhi is a fucking lovecraftian horror story of Things that Should Not Be and it baffles me how they try to play it as a comedy.

Haruhi can *erase and rewrite history just by changing her mind*. Basically, nothing other than her matters in the slightest. If anything, the fact that she doesn't know it herself only makes it worse. If she DID know, she might at least make an effort to not change things willy-nilly.

She's like Azathoth, omnipotent and insane, only she's right here right now instead of at the other end of the universe. I'm fairly sure the only reason all the characters who know about her don't go insane out of the sheer horror of how everything that exists and has ever existed is the plaything of a dumbshit highschooler with the responsibility of Patrick Bateman and the attention span of a gnat is because she doesn't *think* they should go insane.

Hei will die

Hei will die.

But his soul will chose to go back in time, the the time when he was happiest, and he will be at season 1 first episode.

Suou who loves Hei want to be with him too and want to be in a time when Hei'd love her, but since he already loves Yin she'll go back in time before Hei is born, and became his mother.

I'm in love with Osaka

Dear /b/:
I, like many of you, suffer from problems. My problems don't involve any of your implausible ones, but mine are worth voicing to you in hope of getting some advice.
Anyways, I began to watch Azumanga Daioh about a month ago, and as I dove deeper and deeper into the series, the more and more I fapped to hentai of it. I continued to do so until the last episode.
Then I watched the series again...and again... and again... I found myself checking out Osaka every on-screen moment she had. I began to stop going to my regular sites just to look at hentai of one person: Osaka.
I eventually had 1000s of pictures and some doujins of Osaka. I began to spend what others called absurd amounts of money on merchandise, and my apartment is coated with Osaka everywhere. I've shut myself off from family and friends and felt an urge to just snuggle with my Osaka dolls. Osaka is all I need. She probably wouldn't like the way my family is or how my friends behave.
I'm in love with Osaka. I keep praying that she'll come to see me one day and decide to live with me. I have nothing left to live for but Osaka. I know she can hear me, so I always talk to her telling her to come and visit me so our union can take place.
So this is where you guys come into the picture. You're an all-purpose advice board. You definitely must know a way to help Osaka break free from behind her glass prison.

I'm in love with Suigintou

Rozen Maiden has ruined my life, like it has done to so many others.

Less than a week ago, I thought the premise of the show was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard. Suiseiseki was just a meme, and I didn't even know any other characters. But then I watched the first episode. And then the second. And couldn't stop until I was done with Traumend. That was four days ago. By then, I was hopelessly entangled. I was in love with the show and the dolls. I started daydreaming that I was a member of the show's cast, or that I had a Rozen Maiden of my own. I suddenly had a craving for tea, so I went out and bought some, and it's all I've been drinking these past few days. And then it got even worse. Two days ago, I watched Overture. Now, I'm hopelessly in love with Suigintou. All I want from life is to be able to hold Suigintou and be able to cheer her up, make her happy again, so I can see her smile again. I fantasize about her becoming human, so I can go out with her, make sweet, sweet, love to her, and marry her and have a happy life with my dear Suigintou. The show's given me other side effects, too, which keep getting worse. Whenever I see porn or hentai now, all I can think is "no dolljoints, not hot." All I can fap to is Suigintou doujins. I see Shinku's face and get in a bloodcurdling rage like I've never felt before. She made my Suigintou cry! I've stopped caring about my car, which for years was everything to me. I've stopped caring about what I eat, except for a craving for Flowery Hamburger. I don't care about any other anime, manga, or any video games. My only realistic desire right now is for an accurate Suigintou doll that I can cuddle while I sleep. I get jealous when I see anyone talk about her or post her picture, and pissed off when I hear the word junk.

Come to me, Suigintou! I'll love you, let me make you happy! You're not junk, let me give you my devotion and love and you'll see that you don't need to be so sad!

I'm crying as I type this.

LOL! Holy fuck dude.

LOL! Holy fuck dude. Simmer the hell down. It's DRAGON BALL! Think about that before you open your mouth and make yourself look like the saddest piece of shit I've seen all day. I know NOTHING about you except that you're worthless and have no life IE. time to check these things out and care. Hope you're proud of yourself. I really do. I sincerely hope for a SPLIT second you feel better about yourself because you downloaded and rummaged through all the episodes of Dragonball Z in fucking JAPANESE just to point out he said it was a thousand points less. Like that was going to blow the fucking CONTINUITY out of the water and blow our FUCKING minds somehow. Being that Dragonball Z is known for it's sharp and detective like continuity. Broly. Even the fucking CREATOR said fuck this and LEFT....but you...no YOU sat down and figured this out and now you look SO brilliant in front of us. Man....is my face red. I'm so ashamed of myself for not being a big fucking loser who has to spend my time nitpicking a fucking KIDS cartoon (even in Japan it's for CHILDREN you weeaboo piece of shit) like you. Nice work

Lucky Star

Lucky Star. What are you faggots, stupid?

Lucky Star at least has original characters. What does Azumanga have? Oh yeah, shitty generic copycats...Of TMoHS no less. Considering Lucky Star is better than TMoHS, I think you can see my point.

Sakaki? Oh wow. She's quiet. Enjoy your fucking Yuki Nagato rip off.

Chiyo? ZOMG smart person. Another Yuki Nagato rip off. They couldn't even handle the GARness of Yuki and so they had to split her up into those two characters.

Tomo? Blatant Haruhi rip off. Wow, she acts spastic? Yeah, Haruhi did it ten times better.

Yomi? Fat chick. She's just a cop off of Mikuru.

Osaka? Mascot character. Spacy and contemplative, but she doesn't even measure up to the awesomeness that is Tsuruya. Tsuruya is the embodiment of intellectual stimulation. Nice try Osaka, can't touch that though.

Kagura? Athletic girl. Unfortunately for Azumanga Nooboh, TMoHS already had the athletic girl first. Her name is Asakura and she's fucking hot.

I thought this was obvious, but some idiots chose Azumanga. Nice going nooblets. Goback2/gaia.

Marimite

ITT we discuss Marimite, the new OVA, and why the series as a whole is so awesome.

AKA ITT A series about an all girl's Catholic high school and the relations among several of aforementioned school's students, who are almost always seen in their rather chaste school uniforms which consist of long skirts, which do not even show knee, and a sailor collar in which collar bone visibility is impossible, who when even seen out of these unrevealing outfits the extent of skin seen is shoulders, arms, elbows, necks, and ankles, and the possibility that some of these relationships may or may not have a thin, hidden layer of lesbian subtext, although said subtext is never manifested in any physical way besides hugging and hand holding, except for a limited occurrence in a flashback, which is blurred, and may not actually refer to a physical event, but may be employing a metaphorical image to represent a relationship, and how we justify our affinity for said series through ironic statements which attempt to avoid the idea that the affinity for such a series would nullify large amounts of masculinity simply using a "distraction" technique, which generally works until one actually thinks about what they are saying, which may or may not lend itself to Jungian or Freudian analysis.

MURDER

/b/, I seek your wisdom.

I'm in anime club at my college (I'll avoid saying which to avoid someone finding out who this is), and it was a weekly meeting as to what we wanted to watch on Thursday, our next club meeting. Being the otaku that I am, I suggest that we watch The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi. The whole club doesn't know what I'm talking about and goes on to talk about some stupid shit like Brain Powerd and Gunslinger Girl. I was enraged that they wouldn't even consider, if I may say so, the greatest anime of the past millennium, so I threw a punch at one of them and broke their glasses. I wanted Haruhi, and they wouldn't fucking show it. It serves him right; he smelled bad and always misused Japanese words. I was born in Japan and lived there until I was two, and here this fat fuck is spouting out horrible Japanese. I was pissed.

After I punched him, he looked as if he was going to cry. Serves him right. He fought back, and I think he fucking broke my nose in the process. What gave him the right to do that? Being too enraged to care, I attacked back and grabbed his neck tightly. I strangled him and drained every inch of life out of him. When I finished shaking him, I noticed he was dead. I panicked, locked the door, closed the windows, put up the blinds, and turned off the lights in the room.

So here I am, in the clubroom, after hours. I just recently covered from the shock, and I decided to post here because I'm frightened. What should I do? HELP!

(I couldn't find a really relevant image on Google image search so I'm using this, since my [former] club president's laptop which I'm using only has a bunch of xxxHOLiC hentai.)

Mother Suiseiseki

Mother Suiseiseki loves us, she loves me and you and everybody, and through the teachings of her sacred word we will live in harmony and oneness, and ascend into a state of pure anonymity ~desu

When we are all the same mind and spirit~

~desu, the sacred sound, so that it may resonate within us and flow out to touch the ethereal beyond ~desu

the sacred vibration, resonates with the great fiery waters beyond the universe, and touches god

~desu appears embraced in a beautiful chorus of vibration

Mother Suiseiseki is in all things, in all places. You can not imprison her any more than you could cage the wind ~desu.

Suiseiseki cultivates the possibility, ever so gently pulling it from the one all, so that it is allowed to manifest ~desu.

It is through these manifestations of temporary individuality that the spirit energy is made to grow before returning to the great nothing ~desu.

Suiseiseki is all things, and thus the evil is also required~ But it is always the way, that the evil do not know they are only aiding in cosmic unity, because they are driven by selfishness and hate. While the good, know that the evil is also a part of the all. Which is what allows them to be full of love for all things ~desu.

Its in this way, that suiseiseki can favor only one, because where love is given it is got, and hatred breeds death. The duality extends to all depths, even into the heart of suiseiseki herself. So that she needs not give equal favor to each side, even though each is equal in the universe ~desu.

This is the difference between the mind and the spirit, the mind knows not the spirit, the spirit knows not at all, but drives all things ~desu.

Mother Suiseiseki loves us, she loves me and you and everybody, and through the teachings of her sacred word we will live in harmony and oneness, and ascend into a state of pure anonymity ~desu

When we are all the same mind and spirit~

~desu, the sacred sound, so that it may resonate within us and flow out to touch the ethereal beyond ~desu

the sacred vibration, resonates with the great fiery waters beyond the universe, and touches god

~desu appears embraced in a beautiful chorus of vibration

Mother Suiseiseki is in all things, in all places. You can not imprison her any more than you could cage the wind ~desu.

Suiseiseki cultivates the possibility, ever so gently pulling it from the one all, so that it is allowed to manifest ~desu.

It is through these manifestations of temporary individuality that the spirit energy is made to grow before returning to the great nothing ~desu.

Suiseiseki is all things, and thus the evil is also required~ But it is always the way, that the evil do not know they are only aiding in cosmic unity, because they are driven by selfishness and hate. While the good, know that the evil is also a part of the all. Which is what allows them to be full of love for all things ~desu.

Its in this way, that suiseiseki can favor only one, because where love is given it is got, and hatred breeds death. The duality extends to all depths, even into the heart of suiseiseki herself. So that she needs not give equal favor to each side, even though each is equal in the universe ~desu.

This is the difference between the mind and the spirit, the mind knows not the spirit, the spirit knows not at all, but drives all things ~desu.

My girlfriend..

My girlfriend is cute and smart and she's an anime faggot like me

The other night she and I were cuddling in bed and she started humping me and whispering "oniichan oniichan" and that turned me the fuck on

so I called her "oneechan" and then she stopped and looked at me and I said "what is it" to which she replied "I always wanted a twin brother so we could fuck all the time" (she's an only child and all I have is a younger brother)

so all night long we were humping and calling each other oniichan and oneechan and I came in my underwear and we were pretending we were brother and sister trying to sexually please each other without having sex and it was fucking hot

SO YEAH, I like anime

The first anime I ever saw was "Revolutionary Girl Utena" the movie. I was attracted to it because it was bizarre and new. It hit me at a vulnerable time; my father and mother had just been murdered. I became obsessed with the "emptiness inside" theme of the movie, and felt that this related to my life somehow. I watched Evangelion next, and absolutely loved the depressing feeling both of these shows left me with. I am a person who loves depressions; I feel that I am at my most creative and "raw" when utterly depressed. The empty feeling these shows gave me filled me with emotions I wanted to recapture.

Like an addict seeking another hit, I kept downloading more and more programs, watching tons of shows. At one point, I had two shoeboxes full of CD-r's packed with Anime programs. I had a library of just about every show ever made. I became obsessive, but I wasn't finding that feeling that was originally there. Sure, I could recapture it with great stuff like Serial Experiments: Lain and Millenium actress, but that was only for a moment.

Eventually, I stopped watching the shows I was downloading, but just grabbed them for the sake of having them. I had to have more. I bought DVD's and didn't watch them. Gradually, over time, I felt my aesthetic become warped. What once was strange and bizarre looking character design became familiar; I sought it out. If I caught a glimpse of an anime style character in real life, I felt a rush; almost as if my hindbrain saw it before I was aware of it. I was visiting a Japanese tea Garden and saw real life schoolgirls in the familiar navy blue fuku uniforms. I was fascinated by them; I was drawn, attracted, but not in a sexual way; it blew my mind to see something in real life that I had before seen only in the abstract.

A familiar feeling came through me when I saw them. I felt the same at that moment as when I had first seen Utena, when I had first finished Evangelion. My obsession took a new direction.

I bought several sailor fuku uniforms from online retailers. J-list was too expensive and didn't sell in the size I desired. I had to have the legitimate stuff. At first it was satisfying to just look at the uniforms. I would keep them clean, iron them, and hang them up every day. The ritual was soothing to me.

Sooner or later I had to do it. I had to wear the uniforms I had treasured. I am proud to report that it took me a few months to break down, to really cross the threshold into utter depravity. After that line had been crossed, though, there was no going back. Tentatively, I started by simply wearing the uniforms around the house. I would wake up very early, before anyone could glimpse at me from outside on the street, and simply do my cleaning and cooking wearing the various uniforms I purchased. I got a matching apron. I would pretend I was getting ready for Japanese High school.

Soon, though, wearing the uniform in private was not enough. I purchased a duster trenchcoat and began walking through town wearing my outfit. Nobody knew, and this made me comfortable. But, again, this soon became insufficient to satisfy my obsession.

I began stalking this girl I knew, Sarah. I checked out her routines; when she left for work, when she got back, what time she went to bed. At first I furtively ventured into her place with my uniform under my trench coat while she was away. I knew where her spare key was because I had helped her move earlier. Speaking of this, I'm a pretty beefy guy. I weigh around 240-260 pounds, but I'm not that tall. A great friend to have if you need to move.

Anyway, gradually, I became more comfortable in her apartment. I started doing stuff like rolling around in her bed, stealing her underwear and putting it in little plastic bags, soforth. As you would expect, I became more and more comfortable doing this, and crossed a line. She came home unexpectedly one day, early from work. Panicked, I hid under the bed in my uniform. Immediately, as she came through the door, she spotted my trench coat. Lying under her bed, the sound of my heavy breathing seemed a thousand times louder than it actually was. I could hear her rooting through the trench coat, and could hear the wrinkling of celophane as she found my empty plastic bags. Thank god they didn't yet have her used underwear in them.

I put my sweaty, meaty hands together and prayed.

I heard her walking around the apartment. Thankfully, she didn't bring anyone with her. My mind was flashing; the excitement had triggered my epilepsy. Suddenly, I was barraged with memories from my first anime program, revolutionary girl utena. I heard her walking around some more, and then sit down on the bed. I saw her clothes come off and hit the floor in front of me. During this time I was controlling myself and having a minor epileptic fit. I could see transformation sequences from anime programs I had watched. It was all coming together; the near hallucinations, the girl in the bed above me, and most of all, my sweaty fuku uniform.

She approached the bathroom and got into the shower. She turned on the water. I was convinced that this was the one moment I had been searching for. This was my chance to cross over into the other world described in Utena; the fabric of reality was thin. I could taste it. In many of my anime programs I had seen the seemingly normal characters, like me, enter into a world of magic and joy.

I rolled out from under the bed and bounded into the bathroom. She saw my large form approaching through the glass of the shower and started screaming. I was having epileptic flashes; the screaming sounded just like "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" I was having trouble walking, my steps staggered. I couldn't feel the floor. My meaty hands slammed the shower door open, but she sprayed me with a jet of water. The water triggered another fit and I seized, falling into the bath. She tripped and fell on top of me. As she was screaming and my blood filled the bath, it swirled around reality, and intermingled in my mind. Her screams, the blood, my sweat, the uniform, Japan, schoolgirls, magic, tragedy, terror, and hope all become one to me. For one moment, I could taste it. The anime reality. It was here, like a precious jewel perched between my meaty, sweaty pectorals. And then, gone.

SO yeah I like anime.

Mudkips

Today being Halloween, I decided to fuck with the major retard at school when I came out of science for break. He was dressed as Ash. Knowing this was going to happen, I brought a Mudkips doll. Thus I started the conversation, making sure no one saw me.

"So I heard you like Mudkips..." "MUDKIPS? I LUUUUUUUUUUUUVE MUDKIPS." "O RLY? So, would you ever fuck a Mudkips, that is.." (he cuts me off before I could say 'if you were a mudkips') "OF COURSE." "Well I just happen to have a Mudkips here, and..."

Before I finished the sentance, which would have resulted in me hitting him across the face with the doll, he grabbed it. In one swift motion his pants were down and he was violently humping it. Not to get between a man and his Mudkips I started to walk away, because there is no way I'd be caught wrestling a half-naked crazy guy humping a Mudkips.

Needless to say, within 5 to 10 seconds, some girls saw him and started screaming. I cooly walked into a restroom, pretending nothing had ever happened; not that I had intended that outcome, but now that it was in play I didn't want to be involved.

I came back out two minutes later, and like any wanton act on school grounds there was now a huge crowd around him. He was still fucking it and baying this real fucked up 'EEEEEEEEEEINNNNF EEEEEEEEEEINNNF' sound. Suddenly a scuffle broke out in the middle, meaning he probably did something stupid.

I asked someone what had happened. A girlfriend of one of the football players tried to get him to stop, but he bit her for trying to take it away. Someone called in a few football players (all dressed up like Road Warrior) who proceeded to pummel the shit out of the guy. Meanwhile the school police were freaking out and having trouble getting in to the situation.

A few minutes later the intruder alarm went off and we were all shuffled into classrooms. Over the intercom the principal announced that someone had thrown a flaming plush toy into the library. Uh.. what the hell.

So we were kept there and about 30 minutes later the principal came on again. This time he was saying that whoever was behind the beating should turn themselves in. All of a sudden this woman began yelling, "I WILL SUE YOU FOR DAMAGES. YOU LITTLE PUNKS, I'M GONNA SUE..." and it was cut off.

I asked an office later what had happened. Apparently his mother had come to pick him up and threatened to sue for the beating and 'whatever else happened.' The school threatened to counter-sue because of lewd conduct, inciting a riot, and starting a fight.

So I ask you: do you like Mudkips?

People idolize over Haruhi Suzymiya

People idolize over Haruhi Suzymiya because she acts like a guy. You ever wish you could have a girl as a friend, just to hang out with like one of the guys? A girl that would have the same interests as you, the same enthusiasm, the same keen observations and sense of adventure? How about a girlfriend that you could just hang out with, have fun with, and not have to listen to her whine and complain and leak. Haruhi Suzymiya is that ideal "hang out with" girl. She has fans because she has all the best traits of a guy friend you can hang out with, only she happens to be a girl. Understand that when people idolize over Haruhi Suzymiya, they idolize over the personality of a cool guy friend in a girl's body- an ideal friend/partner who has the best of both worlds, and would be nearly impossible to find.

Pokemon

Hey /b/, I have a very serious problem. I'm fucking crying because of how stupid I am.

Okay, so my girlfriend was supposed to come over to my house today because I was going to go take her to a movie. She lives about 20 minutes away, and the movie we were supposed to see started at 4:15, which was in about 40 minutes. I figured "cool, I'll just play Pokemon while I wait".

So I'm playing Pokemon, and having a pretty damn good time. Anyway, she finally does show up, except she's crying as she walks into my room. Instead of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focus on my game and her. She starts telling me her cat died, and just as she was getting into it, I get into a random encounter in my game.

A shiny pidgey. Holy shit. (For those of you who don't know/care, shiny pokemon have less than a 1/1000 chance of appearing). I stare into my screen in amazement, yelling "holy shit, YES", interrupting her mid-story. She sobs more, and she starts to yell "You don't even fucking care! YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAME!" I'm still looking at my screen, still focusing on catching my shiny pidgey, when she walks over, and tosses the game against the wall. I run over and pick up my DS hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and quickly noticed that she broke it. My system and my shiny pidgey, gone forever.

I start screaming every obsenity I know, and started flailing my arms around. I didn't know she was behind me, and appearantly I backhanded her in the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yells out "FUCK YOU", and runs out of my house in tears.

What have I done? I've fucked up so badly, and I need to know how to approach her. I don't want a game of Pokemon to be respoinsible for ruining my best relationship ever. Help me /b/.

Pokemon/DON'T JOKE ABOUT RAPE

Okay, I am fucking sick and fucking tired of these fucking reposts about losing a shiny pidgey! LOSING A SHINY PIDGEY IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Joke about anything else you want, /b/...

Joke about cp, joke about loli, joke about murder, joke about drugs, but DON'T FUCKING JOKE ABOUT LOSING A SHINY PIDGEY! Losing a shiny pidgey DESTROYS a trainer, it STRIPS THE TRAINER OF HIS BADGES! It is disgusting, inhumane, regressive and insane. LOSING A SHINY PIDGEY IS OFF THE FUCKING TABLE, /b/, NOT EVEN YOU FUCKING VIRGIN ASSHOLES CAN BE SUCH FUCKHOLES THAT YOU JOKE ABOUT A SHINY PIDGEY BEING LOST!

And no, I am not fucking Ash Ketchum, I am a trainer, I lost a shiny pidgey. My 1/8192 chance pokemon was taken from me, I can never get it in a pokeball. I was defeated again and again and again and again and again by The Elite Four when I was on victory road, I wanted to fucking kill my fucking self. IS THAT FUCKING FUNNY? FUCK NO YOU FUCKHOLES!

Go back to making Fresh Prince threads, /b/, you fucking arboks

Supa kawaii desu

Omg hai ^___^ I’m Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is naurto!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband sasuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^ When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw…SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 3333333333333!!!! “KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!! he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat <bleep> watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY MAN WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH NARUTO CAUSE SASUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (o_o)” then sasuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!!*^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*(^o^)(^o^)(^o^)

GIRUGAMESH

Good morrow, MONGRELS ^___^ I’m Gilgamesh and I'm the unquestionable king @_____@ of heroes <3 and one adores Gates of Babylon!!! Alright so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my eternal life when I met my hot waifu Saber!! <333333333 OMFGZ SHE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I traversed onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw…SABER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!! “ WHAT LUCK, TO MEET SUCH A DELIGHTFUL LADY ON SUCH A DREARY NIGHT !!!!!” I yelled n____n then she turned chibi then un-chibi!! she looked at me [:3] and then she saw how awesome the king of heroes was *___* she grabbed my gauntlet and winked ~w^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HER TOUNGE TASTED LIKE TEA AND CRUMPETS!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw an atrocious underserving mongrel watching us and I could tell he was undressing her with his eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)] so I yelled “SHIROU YOU MONGREL, THIS IS MY WENCH WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH RIN CAUSE KING ARTURIA LOVES ME!!! (ò_ó)” then Saber held me close =^____^= and said she would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to her fortress and engaged in CG dragon dueling all night long and made enough mana to destroy the entire surrounding mongrel populace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<)

Tsugumi

Omg hai there - . - I'm Tsugumi-san and I absolutely looooathe -_____- humans </3 especially takeshi!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the WORST day of my life when I met my ded husband takeshi!! <//////////////////3 OMFGZ HE WAS SUUUUCH AN ANNOYING PERSON!!! Supa baka desu!!!!!!!! >______< When I walked onto LeMU -________- I looked up and saw... TAKESHI!!!!!!!!! </////////////////////////33333333!!!!!!!!!" KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZ ANATA BAKA TAKESHI-SAN!!!!!!!!" I yelled n_____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!!he looked at me [-.-;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a souvenir shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE CHICKEN SANDWICHES!!! RLY!! >_____< *(;_;)* *(;_;)* *(;_;)*] then I saw You, that baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!!!!! [ -___________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (O_O);;;;;] so I yelled "UH UH BAKA NEKO I DUN LIKE HIM BUT WHY DON'T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH KID CAUSE TAKESHI-SAMA CAN ONLY THINK ABOUT HOLOGRAMS!!! (then takeshi held me close O_______O; and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (X_x)/ then he went into a washing machine and set it on heavy duty!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Oh my God, greetings! I am Ai-san and I absolutely love Japanese animation, my all time favorite being Naruto.

But to get to the point, the most pleasant day of my life was when I found my attractive partener Sasuke. He was so dignified in person. A sight to behold.

I was strolling on Tokyo Street, when I caught a glimpse of Sasuke by lifting my gaze from the pavement. I excitedly greeted him. He stared at me for a while, basking in my looks, afterwards taking my hand and guiding me behind a nearby restaurant where we got intimate.

We were surprised by a random passer-by however, which I managed to drive away with a demonstration of foul language. We carried on with what we were involved in before being interrupted; after that I was invited to his appartement. Following sexual intercourse I became pregnant with his children.

THIS POST IS ABOUT BASKETBALL

In 1891 in Springfield, Masschusetts, Dr. James Naismith nailed a peach basket ten feet from the ground, creating the sport of basketball.

Shortly after, in a move considered vastly out of character, the Canadian-born Naismith did not remain in the United States. He did not help promote and refine his sport through YMCA organisations throughout the country.

Instead, he self-diagnosed himself with yellow fever and travelled to Japan for health reasons. He brought with him his peach basket, creating the sport of basuketoboru.

In the United States, basketball gradually became widespread through drawcard players like Wilt Chamberlain, whose debut is now considered to have ushered in the Golden Age of basketball. Despite this, it was still considered less a sport than a game, played for entertainment at social gatherings rather than competitively. It was primarily played by children and teenagers, who moved onto more respected sports when they became of mature age. The stigma of basketball being a diversion for children rather than a sport of actual athletic merit continues even today.

In Japan, basuketoboru developed along similar lines until the postwar era, when a ban was lifted on non-state approved sports. After borrowing techniques from other sports and from basketball, basuketoboru exploded in popularity. Its following became larger and more diverse than basketball, spawning correspondingly diverse playing styles and techniques, such as the full court decompress. Although still primarily played by children and teens, it garnered some respect as a legitimate sport, as signified by its inclusion into the Olympics.

The Olympics standardised the rules between basketball and basuketoboru, but there were still major variations in the way it was played in either country. The uniforms worn in the U.S. were flamboyantly coloured spandex, whilst the Japanese basuketoboru uniforms were typically monochromatic, using high contrast to distinguish home and away. In basketball, the timer for each quarter would count down from 12 minutes, whilst basuketoboru's timer counted up to 12 minutes. Fans of one were unaccustomed to the other, calling it 'backwards'.

As time went on, it was in the United States that the first cracks begun to appear in the status quo. There were many of course, loyal to basketball since childhood. But from there the sport fractured into many subgroups.

Some grew weary of trying to change people's perceptions of basketball as a children's game. They split off from other leagues and formed their own. They also announced that although they were still playing basketball, their sport was no longer called basketball. It would now be called basket-based athletics.

Still other Americans agreed with the perception, and shunned basketball entirely. They begun to follow basuketoboru exclusively, and it fast gained its own niche. As some understood it, basuketoboru was not merely basketball but the way the Japanese played it. In short order, American basketoboru fans grew up wanting to be players. And riding the wave of popularity, the same local companies who broadcast basuketoboru from Japan to American fans sponsored the creation of a professional domestic league.

The debut was disappointing and universally panned. The standard of play was amateurish, perhaps college-level at the most for some teams. But nowhere near professional, and nowhere near Japan. Worse still, it exposed another fracture and yet another subgroup. The purists. As they understood it, basuketoboru was not merely basketball, and not merely the way the Japanese played it, it was basketball as played by Japanese people. They saw the domestic league as a cheap imitation, missing the point of basuketoboru entirely. It was just basketball in black and white uniforms with the clocks counting up.

American basuketoboru was an oxymoron, an impossibility. They called it 'wasuketoboru'. The term took off.

For years the league struggled. Their matches were poorly attended and those that were there were mostly aspiring players themselves. The purists had no such aspirations, and vindicated, waited with glee for it to die.

Michael James Jordan entered the domestic league as the third pick in the first round, and his impact was felt immediately. He had grown up around basuketoboru and played it all his life. For him it was as natural as breathing. His debut year saw him bag the Rookie of the Year award and a spot on the All-Star team, and people began to take notice.

The purists admitted yes, he was good, but what he was playing was not basuketoboru. No matter how good he was, it was still just basketball. Fans of the league hated people calling their sport 'basketball'.

In his fourth season Jordan became league MVP, All-Star MVP, won the defensive player of the year award and his second consecutive Slam Dunk contest.

Look, said the purists, he's clearly very good, but he can only recreate basuketoboru. Anything new he brings to the game will at best be considered basuketoboru-style.

Jordan asked to be traded to the JBL when his contract came up for renegotiation, where he was signed by a marquee team in Japan. He was immediately moved to the position of center, and led them to a championship trophy, where he clinched the finals MVP.

It was proof, said his American fans. They weren't pigeonholed into the childish trifle that was basketball by virtue of birth – Americans could play basuketoboru.

Soon Jordan's team began to rely on him to the point of predictability. To combat this, the assistant coach and Jordan developed a triangle offense strategy. It worked, and became the cornerstone offensive strategy for many teams, a tactical mainstay of the Japanese game.

ESPN named Jordan the greatest basketball player of the decade. NHK Sports named Jordan the greatest basuketoboru player of the decade.

Jordan was asked to weigh in on the debate.

Did he consider himself a basketball player, or a basuketoboru player? Or perhaps a basket-based athelete?

Could Americans play basuketoboru?

Could Japanese play basketball?

How did he define them? What if your team was Japanese, but you played in an American league, but you didn't wear spandex, and the clock counted -

He replied that he had not given it much thought and did not realise they were two different sports. The answer pleased no-one and was derided on the internet as simplistic and ignorant.

Jordan retired on a career high and was widely recognised as one of the greatest players ever.

Welcome to /a/

I led her into my room. She was pretty: brown hair, muddy green eyes, no rolls of fat, no fields of acne scaring her face, about sixteen years old, and a decent sized rack (not big but not a flat chest either). She stopped and looked about the room to admire my collection; Kare Kano boxset (Very good, cute little series until Anno left, then the budget dropped and the show went to shit), Neon Genesis Evangelion Platinum Edition (Not as bad or as good as people say it is) along with some Asuka and Rei figurines, Full Metal Alchemist (Great series, seems like a shonen but it’s so much better and deeper), a vintage Akira movie poster, pretty much every Gundam series boxset except for G Gundam which is total crap, a poster for the original Ghost in the Shell movie release, Unopened Robotech Mecha action figures (Mint condition), and so so so so much more. It would take days to list. She whistles, “Nice. Very Nice.”

“Thanks.” I say, barely able to hold down my overflowing pride.

We met at the high school anime club, which is mainly filled with fat wastes of life, and noticed each other amongst the smell of body odor and sound of a subbed Sailor Moon episode playing. She took the invitation to my place and here we are. She certainly knows how to appreciate good collection when she sees one.

I decide to get right to the basics and start her interrogation, “Ok, so let me, get this out the way – Do you like Inuyasha?”

She glances at me with something close to disdain, “God, no. There’s nothing interesting in a show about a bishy dog teenager not having enough guts to fuck his girlfriend, but will spend 15 minutes stupidly attacking his enemy’s new barrier before he realizes that he’s gonna need a 15 episode quest to get by it.”

She then lets out a mocking yell of KAAAAGGGGOOOOMMMEEEEE.

“Good.” I sigh. I brought in a girl I met in a convention two weeks ago and she answered that she liked Inuyasha, I think her corpse (or whatever is left of it) is buried in the Johnson’s yard, I really can’t remember.

“Cowboy Bebop?” she perks.

“Certainly, very good episodic anime.”

“Spike dies.” She teases with a smile

I smile, this is turning out very well, she has a cute sense of humor too.

We talk some more and she tells me how she dislikes shonen in general, she never watched it as a kid so she doesn’t have any “nostalgic fondness” for it like other anime fans do. I’m agreeing and nodding, when suddenly it fucking hits me: Wait, does she mean One Piece too? She better not fucking mean One Piece, which is an excellent anime and manga that portrays the silliness of the entire shounen genre by doing everything in an over the top manner but while still having deeper characters than any other shounen could.

My hands flex and tighten in, my teeth grit together and my expression tightens, just managing to contain my building rage until I manage to exercise enough control to ask her.

“What about One Piece?”

She stops and thinks for a second, hand raised to her chin, “Well, yeah, I guess One Piece is pretty good for it’s genre. Pirates just aren’t my thing, though.”

I relax a little, not the answer I wanted but if things continue well, I can put it aside. Besides she can always learn to appreciate it later on.

We talk some more, our opinions match. She thinks Samurai Champloo is good but weak in the middle, so do I. We like old school Robotech because it’s goofy. Rozen Maiden is kinda dumb. I’m in love, we’re soulmates. Everything matches. I’m ready to enter a relationship that will bring me happiness.

Then tragedy strikes.

She opens her mouth, “Well, actually, you know one show I really don’t like?”

“What?”

“The Melancholy of Haruhi Suz-What’s that last bit called? I don’t know. You know, the Haruhi show. It’s a fucking trite harem anime covered with a Evangelion plot and everyone is fucking homo for it. I’m a girl and even I can’t stand it.”

My pulse quickens, I start to sweat uncontrollably, my hands clench and my finger nails begin to dig into my skin. Did she just insult The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya? The smartest, most interesting, cutest romance story and perhaps anime of the 2006 season? My vision turns red.

I let loose a howl, no, a bellow of rage and turn on her. I smash her off my blue beanbag and onto the floor, on top of her. The wind is knocked out of her and before she can regain it, I’m smashing her head continually on the floor.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH. YOU FUCKING BITCH. HARUHI’S TOO FUCKING SMART FOR YOU. YOU DUMB CUNT. IT’S TOO FUCKING SUBTLE FOR YOU. FUCKING BITCH.”

I’m now smacking her across the face, hard, leaving large red welts. She’s still winded, so she hasn’t started screaming yet. Quickly, I jump off her and rush to my drawer and rattle the top drawer open, knocking a pristine Edward Elric FMA figurine to the floor chipping it.

“YOU FUCKING CUNT, DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO? THAT COST ME $125, YOU DUMB LITTLE WHORE.”

I pull a dagger from the drawer, blade length is about the size of my forearm, close my bedroom door and crouch down like a lion. She’s raised herself a little, so that her hands are lifting her torso off the floor. She’s coughing and in shock, then she looks at me, sees the dagger and screams. Loud. I laugh hysterically at her screams, which are beginning to excite me, and then pounce. She raises an arm to block my falling blade, uselessly. It slices through her flesh like butter, and cuts deep into the bone. Blood spurts every where, onto me, onto her, onto my bedsheets. She stares wide eyed at her ruined, flailing mass, not quite comprehending that the cute little anime nerd she was just talking with friendly with not just a minute ago has just nearly severed it. I smash onto her again, knocking her back and stab repeatedly: into her left breast, right thigh, pelvis, and then hack at her injured arm again. She’s screaming constantly and loudly and it’s stirring my loins, I can’t hold out much longer. I slash open her stomach and let her intestines and organs pour out, her liver slops out next to me and I undo my pants and boxers and lift it up above my rock hard dick. I proceed to knife a hole in it and fuck it, furiously. Now she stares, eyes wide open, in shock, trying to mouth words but nothing will come out. I explode violently into her ruined liver and toss it at her, it smacks into her face and drops off to the side. It’s not enough though, so I leap again onto her ruined torso and slice her open further, up to her neck and fuck her vocal chords. I’m not sure if she’s dead or alive at this point. Finally, I cum again and it gurgles up to her mouth. Actually, she looks pretty dead to me.

Calmly, I put my boxers and pants back on and return to the living room to watch a Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex rerun.

A couple hours later, mom returns home. I offer her a greeting from the couch and she sets some groceries on the table. She goes through her routine of tidying up the house, dusting the hard to reach places in the living room, straightening things up in my parent’s room, and then she enters my room. She walks past the gore drenched walls, the decaying remains of the girl, (all the while whistling "Ningen Nante" by Takuro Yoshida), straightens my bed sheets, and picks up my blood soaked clothes that I changed out of. But before she goes, she glances at my still running computer monitor and something catches her eye.

From the living room I hear her yell my name, “JAMES COOLIDGE, GET IN HERE NOW MISTER.”

I rush to my door, heart pounding, and see her pointing accusingly at my monitor.

I left 4chan on, and someone has posted a picture of Fate-chan in very little of anything, just bordering NSFW. Fuck.

And that’s how I got grounded, /a/.

YOU'RRRE BREAAAKING MY HEAAAAARRRRRRT

Kyon snapped, rushing at Haruhi.

"I CAN'T STAND IT ANY MORE," he cried out, sprinting towards the rotund schoolgirl. He began to pummel his fists into her doughy abdomen, faster and faster. The many rolls of Haruhi's fat peeking out from under her shirt quaked as they took each hit. It wasn't much good, Kyon realized, as the oversized gut just absorbed his punches. Panting, he lifted his head to stare Suzumiya in the eyes. Her face remained in neutral shock.

"Well," Kyon sneered, "what do have to say for yourself?"

At that, she unfroze. Haruhi cocked her head a bit and squinted at the boy in front of her. She swayed and wobbled, the furious flapping of her flabby arms proving fully futile. She keeled over onto the floor with a tremendous mushy thud. Kyon smirked at her plight. He was betting she'd still think up something smarmy to tell him. It would be so like her.

Instead, her bulging eyes welled up with tears and she began to whimper; Kyon was puzzled, could she finally be--

"KYOOOOOOON" she bellowed, her droopy voice hitting awkward ups and downs.

Kyon backed away when her tree trunk of an arm pathetically swung at his ankle.

"I don't have time for this," he said, "I got a date with Mikuru in ten minutes!"

Her chest wracked with sobs, Haruhi Suzumiya struggled to lift her head. With her remaining energy she called out in a desparate wheeze to the retreating boy.

"YOU'RRRE BREAAAKING MY HEAAAAARRRRRRT!!!!!!"

All she could hear was his lunatic laughter as he walked off.

Hentai

Ever since I was three I knew that something was something different in my sexual preferences, as time went on I realized that I liked anime babes and Hentai. Ever since then I have been looking at anime porn and such, I`m not attracted to real girls that much. If I see a girl naked I won`t like it but If I see hentai I`m all in for it. Since I`m a christian I`m wondering if God made me this way for punishment or something, I don`t blame him at all. He didn`t have to make me anyway so I thank him for simply making me. Anyway is it normal for me to like anime babes or not? Should I tell my parents or hide this secret from them? I`m looking at this HOT anime babe in her bra and panties and I`m hard as heck! But is this a sin?

Fucking useless nerd

Anime? Could you be any more of a fucking useless nerd? Seriously. I know people like that who go to my high school, they wish their whole goddamned lives were anime. Probably because their parents got divorced and TOTALLY DON'T CARE when they come home and announce that they're gay or something.

I dont hate anime

It's not so much that I hate anime, well I do its utter shit, but that's not too bad because the world would be boring if we all liked the same thing. Anyway what really gets to me is anime fans or 'otakus' as they have dubbed themselves. They think that liking anime makes them superior to those who don't, they think that if someone does not like anime it means they are too stupid to understand it and they worship Japan. There ongoing obsession with Japan makes me want to kill myself, they all want to learn japanese and move to Japan to be an anime artist. They insist on speaking in broken Japanese all the time, trying to show off to there fellow anime losers just how much they know and they get offended if you say a slight word against Japan. They also have an obsessin with gay people and yell and scream whenever they see one, they say that gay people should be treated the same as straight people yet i don't see then shout and scream when they see a straight couple do you? No, they only reason they love gay people is becasue they are desperate to show the world how openmided they are and they just wait for someone to something like 'thats so gay' so that they have have a 3 hour discussion about it.I myself don't have anything against gays but to be honest i don't really think about it. I could go on for hours but I can't be botherd just know one thing Anime couldn't be crapper if it tried.

COOL FREE RINGTONES

Anime characters gone wild. Non stop hardcore erotic anime moments captured on film, Shockingly hot steamy scenes of famous anime characters exploring wild sexual fantasies. Warning: Anime Fiction contains explicit raunchy content (yeah baby!) and is definitely not suitable for a candlelit romantic evening with a loved one, unless you both like watching anime characters get it on!

Anime hentai > real porn

thats why i prefer anime hentai then real porn.... majority of porn is usally ugly both the body and faces its rare which you dont get the ugly (usally comes with alot of air brushing)... and its usally the non nude models which offer something close to hentai in cuteness/hot and non-old porn models.

Real women need real men

Go back to jacking off to your anime girls. Leave the real women to real men.

Hey girl

What kind of anime u into? I'm all about the Inu yasha, saiyuki, get backers, spiral, furuba, you're under arrest, soul hunter (houshin engi), tokyo underground, samurai deeper kyo, flame of recca, mirage of blaze, gate keepers, real bout high school, street figter, fatal fury, dnAngel, gravitation, yami no matsuei, theif and detective, prince of tennis, juvenile orion, aporipha0, orphen, angelic layer, shama pita ten, kaiken phrase, FAKE, himiko den, kiddy grade, lost universe, slayers, burn up W, for you in full blossoms, fushigi yuugi, gundam wing, yuyu hokushou, hunter x hunter, sakura wars, cardcaptor sakura, tokyo babylon, magic knights rayearth, scrapped princess, infinite ryvius, witch hunter robin, mahou senshi riui, Furi Kuri, gundam seed, vampire princess miyu, king of bandits jing, rave, E's Ot Gojyo (saiyuki), Sanada Yukimura (samuria deeper kyo), Hiroshi (gravitation), Inu yasha, Ban (get backers), Akabane (get backers), Heartia (orphen), Iori (King of Fighters), Taikoubo (houshin engi), Kyou (furuba), Kazuma (scryed), Larva (vampire princess miyu), Shigure (furuba), Ken (weiss kreuz), Dark (dnAngel), Kurama (yuyu hakushou), Akabane (get backers), Touga (utena), Shido (nightwalker), Ryuhou Quatre (gundam wing), Amon (witch hunter robin), Michael (witch hunter robin), Riui (mahou senshi riui), Shido (nightwalker), Jing (king of bandits jing), Yuuki (e's otherwise", Kai (e's otherwise), Eagle (magic knights rayearth), Clef (maigc knights rayearth), Enba (wildrock), Ken (Mata Natsu ga Kita), Haru (rave), Magica (rave)

Big eyes?

I used to watch Dragon Ball Z, and it was cool, and Transformers is awesome too. But one thing I never got about anime is why do they have big eyes? It's from Japan, that should mean small eyes.

Why you should not download anime

Why you should not download anime.
Some known sources to download anime:
Nyaa
BakaBT
TokyoToshokan
news
AnimeTake
AnimeTosho
AnimeSenshi

I will now go in depth about why each one is terrible.

Nyaa is as suspicious as it sounds. There are new viruses called "catz" which stand for "Computer Anti-Tech Zebras". Zebras are code for Trojans (they look alike, hence the name, and cath sounds worse anyways).

BakaBT, as the name suggests, makes you realize you are an idiot the second you download something. Viruses fucking galore.

TokyoToshokan. Toshokan actually means killer in Japanese. By using this website, a virus called Tokyo (Tom's Old Komputer YUO OIP). (YUO and OIP are some serious technical shit.) These render your computer useless.

news takes on a new form of downloading called XDCC. Basically, you can watch anime as you download it. However, this means that the virus is also activated as it is downloaded. Therefore, by the time you finish watching, the virus will have come to it's final form, and your computer compromised.

AnimeTake is also a giveaway. Just look at the name. You get anime from it, it takes your personal identity. That's already bad enough.

AnimeTosho is bad for similar reasons to TokyoToshokan.

AnimeSenshi. Senshi is Japanese for warrior. In other words, it installs a virus that enters your computer, seiges your firewall, and cuts down all the necessary files for your computer.

In other words, you should NOT download anime no matter what you do.