Mother Merkel

Mother Merkel is the current leader of Germany

She got very famous when she fought against Columbus and exiled him from Germany.
Here you can see Merkel shooting her laserzzz

She did this by shooting a giant fucking laser out of her greasy mouth and destroy the imperialistic plans of Columbus

Merkel loves penguins.

Aristotele once wrote "Merkel does not forgive, Merkel does not forget, Merkel is infinite, Merkel is our religion, our soul and our holy beer"


Early Life

There is no beginning, Mother Merkel was alsways here and she was always the holy leader of Germany.

Merkel never was a kid she has no age.

Political career

As said, Merkel always was the leader of Germany, but if we look at the last ??? Years her career can be summarized into three eras.

1. Era

Somewhen in the year 1993, old germanic Gods discovered Germany and Mother Merkel.

They were absolutely overwhelmed by the flawless extravagance Merkel had and gave her the gift of LAAZOOOR.

With this superpower, Merkel was able to shoot blue lasers out of her mouth.

Merkel became not only a wizard but a demigod and holy protector of Germany.

2. Era

The 2. Era begins with the appearance of Columbus.

While Columbus entered Karlsruhe, the city was immersed with beer, causing total "drunkstruction".

The imperialist could only meagerly begin to imperialize Germany, when Merkel felt the unholy defilement of her country.

She quickly flew to Karlsruhe to fight against Spain.

Like a big uncontrollable monster, Mother Merkel rose from the horizon, shooting lasers out of her eyes and screaming furiously.

the spanish Armada was deeply frightend and Columbus had to flee.

After this, the relative short 2. Era found its happy end.

3. Era

After Merkel defeated Columbus, life went on.

When she heard about, how the Power Rangers defeated Columbus too, she was amazed.

She never sympathized with Eric the Red and Genghis Khan tough.

Since then Germany and Venezuela built up good friendship and a commercial agreement.

Personal life

I dont give a shit!

See also





old germanic Gods

Eric the Red

Genghis Khan archive